So the van is going to cost about $1800 to fix.
Apparently, spinning the tires in an attempt to extricate myself from the icy parking lot caused the drive shaft to spin freely, without resistance. Since the drive shaft was already slightly bent (which was causing the vibrations I was experiencing at highway speeds), these high revolutions caused lateral forces that were too great for the shaft to handle. It exploded at the tail end of the van, sending shrapnel into the transmission casing.
So, the moral of the story is to call a tow truck if you're stuck.
At least it will be ready in time for the Meadowlark Lemon Niagara show.
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The giant white van and Tyson's guitar are both on life support. I will drop a single rose in a melodramatic fashion onto the icy surface of Lake Ramsey on their behalf.
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